TV Tommy started out as a sincere young man. The devil, however, saw young Tommy’s potential to do harm to his kingdom, so he devised a plan.
About 30 years ago (or was it 50?), the devil took Tommy to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, “All these I will give you if you serve me.”
This sounded strangely familiar to Tommy. Anyway, he was not so easily duped. There was a lot of talk about the devil and his tricks among Tommy’s cohorts. “Oh no, devil. I’m not falling for that. Now I command you to flee from me.”
The devil laughed to himself (Acts 19:15), but departed for a season. He knew that he would have to be more discreet the next time.
Not long after, the devil came back. “Look Tom,” he said, “people have the wrong idea. I’m not all bad. I’m really on the same side that you are. I was an angel, after all. Let’s compromise. God wants you to be prosperous, doesn’t he?”
“Of course,” said Tommy.
“Yes, of course,” said the devil. “Now, I’ll give you everything in this world, and you can still serve God.”
“You don’t sound like such a rascal after all. Tell me more.”
“Just avoid too much talk about theology. People want to know how they can get on in this world. Don’t waste their time preparing them for the next.”
“What else?”
“About Jesus: you should talk about Him a lot. Especially His miracles. But let’s forget all of the foolishness about His being meek and lowly. After all, that was a different time. When He said, ‘Whoever loses his life for my sake will find it,’ He was talking to the apostles. Encourage people to live their best life now. This will really appeal to them (2 Tim. 3:2-4). This will also advance your, I mean God’s, kingdom. The more money they have, the more they can give to the ministry.”
“Amen,” said Tommy.
“So since the kingdom’s success depends upon your success, do everything you can to promote yourself. Be appealing. Be sensational. Draw attention to yourself. It would even be a good idea to get involved in politics. I’ll help.”
“What else?”
“Use a lot of pious language (2 Tim. 3:5). The people love it, and it can take the place of any real preaching. It’s working for several of your friends already. And remember, above all, that I’m not too popular. People have the wrong impression. You need to make it clear that you consider me an enemy. Rebuke me often, like you did the last time we met.
Do these things and I’ll make you more prosperous than you ever imagined. And I’ll give you power and influence. The world will consider you a spokesman for all evangelicals.”
“Devil,” said Tommy, “You haven’t suggested a thing that would cause me to compromise my beliefs (1 Tim. 6:3-5). It’s a deal.”
And so, for the last several decades, the United States has been cursed because of the pact that TV Tommy and his friends made with the devil (2 Peter 2:15).
Note: Thanks go to my friends Chris and Gregg for encouraging me to tone this down and make it more charitable than it originally was. (They had nothing to do with anything that you may still find offensive; they only helped to make it less offensive).