A man in our community committed suicide last week. He left a wife and children. I didn’t know him, but all the people I work with did. It’s been the main topic around the office.
Not very many years ago my wife and I were members of a small, close-knit church. Our song leader was the happiest acting man I knew. Every Sunday he entered the building singing. He greeted everyone with a sincere smile and hug. He loved the church.
Just a few months after we moved, our pastor called. Our brother, the happiest acting man I knew, took his life. Why? I’ve asked that question dozens of times. I’m sure that his wife, children, and grand-children have, too.
When a Christian commits suicide, we are left with tough questions.
Is suicide an unforgivable sin?
Many say that it is. Why? Because they don’t understand the gospel, nor do they understand the grace of God. The short, Biblical answer is, “No, suicide is not an unforgivable sin.”
Jesus teaches that the only unforgivable sin is “blasphemy against the Spirit.”
“Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven,” (Matthew 12:31, ESV).
This isn’t the time to discuss what that means in full, but most agree that it has to do with a willful and continued rejection of the Holy Spirit and Christ. “Continued rejection,” is important. We all reject Christ and the Holy Spirit before we are converted, and there will be times of blasphemy and rejection after. But Jesus is describing a state of hard-heartedness that continues without repentance.
A common belief is that suicide is unforgivable because the person has no chance to repent. Again, this shows little understanding of the gospel. We are called to repent of our sin. That is much bigger, and takes much more humility, than just repenting of individual sins.
Death spread to all men through Adam (Romans 5:12). We are all “dead in trespasses and sins” without Christ (Ephesians 2:1). It’s our nature. Everything about us is corrupt. Even our hearts. What is sin? Paul says, “Whatever does not proceed from faith is sin,” (Romans 14:23). So we have a much bigger problem than individual sins.
Sure, we are to repent of our individual sins when we see them. We are to confess them to God, and we are to turn from them. But nowhere does the Bible say that we must confess every sin that we ever commit. That would be impossible. Those who say that they do confess and repent of every sin prove that they don’t see the extent of their sinfulness.
Do I see every bit of wickedness in my actions? No. Do I understand the depth of my pride? No. Do I recognize my hypocrisy each time that it springs up? No. Do I see and repent of every worldly thought? No. Do I repent every time that I fail to love the Lord with all of my heart and soul and mind? No. Do I repent every time that I fail to love my neighbor as myself? I wish that I did, but I don’t even realize it half of the time. We don’t see half of our sin. That’s why David wrote: “Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults,” (Psalm 19:12). So we must repent of our sin, but it’s impossible to repent of every individual sin.
Imagine a God-loving man who shows much evidence of sanctification. Yet one day, while driving, he sins. Maybe it’s a lustful thought. Maybe an angry word. But before he has the chance to repent, he wrecks and dies. Is he lost because he didn’t repent? We wouldn’t say that he was.
The Bible teaches that when God saves, He saves completely. If we say that He is the one who saves us, yet we’re not completely saved, then we accuse God of doing shoddy work. But everything that He does is perfect. When He begins a good work in someone, He completes it and sees it through to the very end (Phil. 1:6).
The New Testament is clear that all sin is forgivable. Those who come to Christ, believe in Him, trust Him, and truly repent will be saved, once and for all. There is no unforgivable sin other than refusing to come to Christ.
Does this mean that suicide is okay?
Absolutely not. It is still sin. The words above are, I believe, Biblical truth. I write them for the benefit and comfort of those who lose loved ones to suicide. I do not, however, write them to encourage or justify suicide.
We don’t commit sin just because it’s forgivable (Romans 6:1-2). Because we are forgiven, we strive to live for Christ (Romans 12:1). God saves us so that we can live a life of good works (Ephesians 2:10). Though all of a believer’s sin is forgiven, all sin is serious.
Suicide is murder. Self murder. There’s no question that it is sin. Though you may be forgiven, do you want your very last act to be sin? Do you want to commit murder the very instant before you stand in God’s holy presence?
What if you’re not really saved? I’m not contradicting what I said above. A truly converted person is saved to the “uttermost.” But there are many who are deceived. We see the proof often. How many times do you hear of someone who thinks they are a Christian, and then God converts them? What if that is you? Or me? Tomorrow may be the day that you hear the gospel. The day that you really hear the gospel. Don’t rob yourself of the opportunity.
Suicide dishonors God. It shows that you don’t trust Him. “This problem is too big. God can’t help me. There’s only one solution.” It’s a terrible witness. You’ve told your children to trust God? What have you shown them?
Our Christian brothers used to write and preach about dying well. We are to be witnesses of the love and grace of God in our life. We should also show our faith and trust in our death. Read biographies of the saints—George Whitefield, for instance. What a beautiful and strong testimony he gave in his death. Suicide is not dying well. It is a poor testimony.
Suicide is a selfish act. You put your own desire for comfort and escape above everything else. You dishonor God, but you also dishonor your family. And you hurt them. And you abandon them.
How can a man provide for his family after he is gone? Is that life insurance policy all they need? How will you shepherd the heart of your child? How will you comfort them, or protect them? How will you show love? Paul told Timothy that men who don’t provide for their families have “denied the faith,” (1 Timothy 5:8). Providing means much more than paying the bills.
Those who commit suicide don’t realize how it affects others. It is traumatic. It is the greatest rejection of a spouse, parent, or child. “I’d rather be dead than live with you, love you, take care of you….” It will undue much of what you’ve done in the way of teaching your children, or in showing love to friends and family. And it affects the entire church and the entire community.
So, while suicide is not unforgivable, it is serious. It is terrible. It is permanent. And if you commit it, you will murder someone who is loved by your friends and family. You will murder a member of your church. You will, if you are a Christian, murder a child of God. And you may destroy the lives of others. If you are a parent, you’ll certainly cause your children pain that will last throughout their lives.
Instead of suicide, turn to Christ. Remember Him who suffered for others. If He is your Lord, can’t you follow Him? Can’t you suffer a while longer for the sake of others?
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others,” (Philippians 2:3-4, ESV).
